Learning Trust the Hard Way

Being out of control is something that I always find challenging.   I want to be in control.  I want to know what is going to happen.  Deep down I crave the predictable.   Give it to me straight up, let me know my options, let me know the rules and then I’ll come up with a game plan complete with vision statement and priorities for how to make this thing work.   Truthfully, there is going to come a point in time where either Africa beats this “need to be in control” out of me or it will kill me.  God has been using these challenges round the corners off of my hard edges…at least I hope that’s what’s happening.

There are so many examples I could list just from the last week where the unpredictable grabbed me in such a way that I was left floundering for a bit.  One was last week when my camera was stolen right out of my hand while I was taking a picture in broad daylight.  Didn’t see that one coming. Read More

Solitude in the City

A few years ago on the cover of Leadership Journal there was a beautiful picture that will stick with me for a long time.   It showed a man camping out with a tent in Times Square.   It was a picture of stark contrast – in the middle of the hustle, distractions and noise of Times Square there was a person practicing solitude.   Perhaps the reason why I loved the picture so much is because that is how I long to live.  I love the city.  I love the people and the noise and the distraction.  To me it is a sign of life and a reminder of God’s love for this multitude of people that I am bumping and crashing into as I walk down the sidewalk.  I desire a solitude kind of connection with God while being surrounded by dozens of people.

However, without a centered focus I know that the city will eat me alive.  I can feel this starting to happen from time to time.   When someone cheats me out of money or the person in front of me is walking slowly and can’t walk a straight line.  Or, when I have been pushing and shoving to get on the taxi for 30 minutes with no success…I can start to feel my face flush and my blood pressure rise and I approach the fight or flight phase. Read More

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